A chapter of my life

Our journey started in a fine october with...

that is the first time i know you..

the first time we skype...

the first time..i watch u nap in the afternoon...

of course...with some more others..

it was a good start...

somehow making me feel how special i am...

because of you..

i made my mind to go united states even if im to be alone there..

for 5 months...

because of you...

made me believe in myself that i can do everything...

things really going very well...

we were happy back then..

so happy....

continue talking with each other..

at least once every day....

but i never knew what were u doing on the other time...

when we arent talking...

i didnt think that much....

things start getting difficult when im going over to united states

especially the time when u had to go china and u dont get to online...

and we argued almost everyday when u were online...

time difference..distance...

never been a good friend to us...

but we managed until you get back to where u were...

and u get to online as much as u want to...

and we did so many sweet things together...

even just pictures...

it means really alot...

for each of us...

but good times never stay forever...shit just happens..

i found out everything...

about your past...

about what u do when u arent talking to me...

about how u lied to me...

about whatever stories that i hear from you..are fake...

about..how u used to make me feel special..

is not a privilege to me...

(this picture is not taken by me..whoever it is..i dont care anymore)

we had our first big argument...

i just cant hold myself from being emotional breakdown once i found out...

just imagine how hurtful it can be...

tears just burst out...

i almost gave it up...

but in the end..for unknown reason..

i hold on...

hoping i could get something in return for the decision that i made to hold on..

"love" is that something that i hope i could get in return...

we still had some arguments....

once in a while...

but it was kinda special..

during these times...

we somehow decided that we will meet in july...

and so..we almost put most of our hope in july...

hoping it that it will make us great...

like the special potion...

to our story...

fast forward to july..

we were so far apart...

that we had to do alot of stuffs thru internet/skype..

but finally...

july is here...

we are both excited about this...

and our first ever picture taking together...

not skype...

but...together...

and a couple of them...

and the last picture...

we had ever taken...

will be...

ever taken...

good times never really last...

time flies...

we are far apart again..

back to where we were...

a big round circle...

we are still having the same problem...

what u had done in the past can never be erased...

u are tired of it...

im sick of it...

whatsmore the distance is so far..

like how we used to be...

after im back..

i always tried to believe that we can work..

try to wait for u to convince me we can...

everytime u try..

u walk off...after one try...

either for sleep..

for study...

for every other reasons else in the world...

or maybe u had already stop trying...

for whatever reason...

i think i should too...

i had been keep messaging u eventho i said i wont...

eventho i keep saying bye..

but most of the time..

im hoping that u will tell me...

dont...leave..

you still love me...

things will work again...

instead..what i had was a bye in return...

the more i push u..the further u are...

u are too far that we wont work anymore..

im ending our journey together with this blog post..

i do hope that u learn something..

and never repeat ur mistakes again...

first time..it is mistake..

second time doing it..it is by ur choice...

p/s: i will always love you...

good bye...kitty sy...