i still think about things at times.
i still think about what happened.
i still think about what are us now.
does your heart still have me?
or im just nobody at all.
do you still remember my face? my voice?
my eyes when we lied together when i told you you are beautiful?
because i clearly remember yours.
am i like one of your exes or even worse than those guys that you did?
im not like them
i know you were sad when i said i didnt get the air ticket to melb
but i did. as i promised.
im not like them.
maybe the reason why i left make no sense.
it doesnt to me either.
i dont understand why i did it.
maybe i loved you too much.
thats why.
you dont understand why i left. i know you dont.
i cant take it.
maybe you can. but i think we are complicated right now.
you said maybe if i tried to talk friendly.
you would reply.
but none i get.
i remembered you replied anson when u had ur work placements.
am i worse than him?
or you just decided to put me and them aside?
i know i wasnt good enough.
but give me the chance to be better.
even if it is just a "try" from you i dont mind taking the risk.
we did so much more than we should deserve this ending.
im regretted being so childish to leave.
let me use my whole life to make it up to you. kitty.
i dont want to lose you. because you are perfect for me.
not because you do as what i said.
but because the way you smile it attracts me.
the way you speak it excites me.
the way you think inspire me.
the way when u get frustrated because of stress make me feel important to be around you.
the way when u look at me makes me melt in you.
it is the way you are that i love.
that i endlessly love.

please,
im desperate for you
dont make me to be pathetic
like those guys
i dont want to be as ugly as them.
can we just talk?
for the sake of what we did in july.
baby princess...

if i die young

if i die young
bury me in the sadness,
lay me down on a knife bed,
sink me in the blood river.

Next Chapter

Move on...

fts

The only thing with me is that im always serious in love...quality not quantity...
taurus are dead loyal....

A chapter of my life

Our journey started in a fine october with...

that is the first time i know you..

the first time we skype...

the first time..i watch u nap in the afternoon...

of course...with some more others..

it was a good start...

somehow making me feel how special i am...

because of you..

i made my mind to go united states even if im to be alone there..

for 5 months...

because of you...

made me believe in myself that i can do everything...

things really going very well...

we were happy back then..

so happy....

continue talking with each other..

at least once every day....

but i never knew what were u doing on the other time...

when we arent talking...

i didnt think that much....

things start getting difficult when im going over to united states

especially the time when u had to go china and u dont get to online...

and we argued almost everyday when u were online...

time difference..distance...

never been a good friend to us...

but we managed until you get back to where u were...

and u get to online as much as u want to...

and we did so many sweet things together...

even just pictures...

it means really alot...

for each of us...

but good times never stay forever...shit just happens..

i found out everything...

about your past...

about what u do when u arent talking to me...

about how u lied to me...

about whatever stories that i hear from you..are fake...

about..how u used to make me feel special..

is not a privilege to me...

(this picture is not taken by me..whoever it is..i dont care anymore)

we had our first big argument...

i just cant hold myself from being emotional breakdown once i found out...

just imagine how hurtful it can be...

tears just burst out...

i almost gave it up...

but in the end..for unknown reason..

i hold on...

hoping i could get something in return for the decision that i made to hold on..

"love" is that something that i hope i could get in return...

we still had some arguments....

once in a while...

but it was kinda special..

during these times...

we somehow decided that we will meet in july...

and so..we almost put most of our hope in july...

hoping it that it will make us great...

like the special potion...

to our story...

fast forward to july..

we were so far apart...

that we had to do alot of stuffs thru internet/skype..

but finally...

july is here...

we are both excited about this...

and our first ever picture taking together...

not skype...

but...together...

and a couple of them...

and the last picture...

we had ever taken...

will be...

ever taken...

good times never really last...

time flies...

we are far apart again..

back to where we were...

a big round circle...

we are still having the same problem...

what u had done in the past can never be erased...

u are tired of it...

im sick of it...

whatsmore the distance is so far..

like how we used to be...

after im back..

i always tried to believe that we can work..

try to wait for u to convince me we can...

everytime u try..

u walk off...after one try...

either for sleep..

for study...

for every other reasons else in the world...

or maybe u had already stop trying...

for whatever reason...

i think i should too...

i had been keep messaging u eventho i said i wont...

eventho i keep saying bye..

but most of the time..

im hoping that u will tell me...

dont...leave..

you still love me...

things will work again...

instead..what i had was a bye in return...

the more i push u..the further u are...

u are too far that we wont work anymore..

im ending our journey together with this blog post..

i do hope that u learn something..

and never repeat ur mistakes again...

first time..it is mistake..

second time doing it..it is by ur choice...

p/s: i will always love you...

good bye...kitty sy...

Missing You

I'm missing you heaps baby, why aren't you on? :(
I keep checking my phone, but i dont get replies from you...sad..
I need to chat with you John, missing you like crazy ><

-love from baby princess

WO AI NI :D

I LOVE YOU BABY JOHN!

-BABY PRINCESS <3

Actually without me, you cant make out the differences

下雨天了怎麼辦 我好想你
It's raining, What do I do, I really miss you
我不敢打給你 我找不到原因
I don't dare to call you, I can't find a reason to
為什麼失眠的聲音 變得好熟悉
How come the sound of insomnia, has become so familiar
沈默的場景 做你的代替
The silent background replaces you
陪我等雨停
Accompanying me as I wait for the rain to stop

期待讓人越來越沉溺
Anticipation makes people more and more devoted
誰和我一樣 等不到他的誰
Who's like me and can't wait for their somebody
愛上你我總在學會 寂寞的滋味
Loving you I'm always learning the taste of loneliness
一個人撐傘 一個人擦淚
Holding an umbrella myself, wiping my tears myself
一個人好累
So tired by myself

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
What sort of rain, what sort of night
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
What sort of me, will make you long to see again
雨要多大 天要多黑
How heavy must the rain be, how dark must the sky be
才能夠有你的體貼
In order for you to care

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
Actually without me you can't make out the
差別 結局還能多明顯
Difference, how much clearer can the result be
別說你會難過
Don't say you're sad
別說你想改變
Don't say you wanna change
被愛的人不用道歉
The person who is loved, need not apologise

Mehhhh

im super overthinking...
i said i was gonna sleep..but then i just lie on the bed..
and keep thinking and thinking..
questions that without answers...
heart never been this painful before..
until i cant bear it..
suit urself if u dont believe me...
and you seems like stop trying and giving up..
i still cant stop myself from messaging you..
but i know..one day i would..
i can forget you..
im not weakling and pathetic..
i am..john.

Day 22 without you

i guess there is nothing to blog about today..
i will wait until u reach home...
then update this blog...
i just hope we are fine..

<3 baby boo

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛
How many times does a butterfly blink
才学会飞行
Before it learns to fly?
夜空洒满了星星
The sky is sprinkled over with countless stars
但几颗会落地
But how many of it will touch the ground?

我飞行 当你坠落之际
Even when I got my wings and flew, you were filled with sadness
很靠近 还听见呼吸
So close I can hear you breathe
对不起 我却没捉紧你
I'm sorry because i did not hold you tight

你不知道我为什么离开你
You don't know why I had to leave you
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
How could I ignore your every cry
你的泪滴想倾盆大雨 碎落满地
All the while the downpour of your tears shattering the ground
在心里清晰
So clearly pierced my heart
你不知道我为什么狠下心
You don't know why I had to keep away
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
Circling in the sky above, just out of sight
多的是 你不知道的事
So many are the things you never knew

Day 21 without you

又回到最初的起點

Going back to the starting point again

 記憶中妳青澀的臉

Seeing that innocent face of yours in my memory

 我們終於來到了這一天

It's hard to believe we have finally reached this day today

桌墊下的老照片

 The old photo hidden under the table

 無數回憶連結

 Linking the countless memories together

 今天男孩要赴女孩最後的約

 This boy is going for a final date with that girl today

 又回到最初的起點

Going back to the starting point again

呆呆地站在鏡子前

Standing dumbly in front of the mirror

 笨拙繫上紅色領帶的結

Clumsily tying up the red necktie

將頭髮梳成大人模樣

Combing the hair to look like an adult

 穿上一身帥氣西裝

[and] Putting on a handsome suit

等會兒見妳一定比想像美

 [thinking that] When I see you later, you must be prettier than what I expect

好想再回到那些年的時光

Really wanna go back to those years [when we are still young]

回到教室座位前後 故意討妳溫柔的罵

Going back to the classroom when I am sitting in front of you 

Purposely teasing you to get your gentle scolding

黑板上排列組合 妳捨得解開嗎

The pairing arrangement on the blackboard, are you willing to separate it? 

 誰與誰坐他又愛著她

No matter who sits with whom, he will still love her

 那些年錯過的大雨

All the heavy rain that we missed those years

 那些年錯過的愛情

 All the romance that we missed those years

好想擁抱妳 擁抱錯過的勇氣

 Really want to hold you tightly in my arms

 To hold on the courage that I never managed to express

  曾經想征服全世界

 I used to dream about conquering the world

到最後回首才發現

 Only realize that in the end

 這世界滴滴點點全部都是妳

 Every little thing in my world revolves around you only

 那些年錯過的大雨

All the heavy rain that we missed those years  

那些年錯過的愛情

All the romance that we missed those years

 好想告訴妳 告訴妳我沒有忘記

Really want to tell you that, to tell you that I have never really forgotten

 那天晚上滿天星星

The night sky filled with the twinkling stars

平行時空下的約定

[and] the promise we made in a parallel universe

再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳

If we can meet again, I will hold you tightly in my arms this time

 緊緊抱著妳

Hugging you tightly...

 又回到最初的起點

Going back to the starting point again

呆呆地站在鏡子前

Standing dumbly in front of the mirror 

 笨拙繫上紅色領帶的結

Clumsily tying up the red necktie 

將頭髮梳成大人模樣

Combing the hair to look like an adult 

 穿上一身帥氣西裝

[and] Putting on a handsome suit 

等會兒見妳一定比想像美

[thinking that] When I see you later, you must be prettier than what I expect

好想再回到那些年的時光

Really wanna go back to those years [when we are still young] 

回到教室座位前後 故意討妳溫柔的罵

Going back to the classroom when I am sitting in front of you 

Purposely teasing you to get your gentle scolding

黑板上排列組合 妳捨得解開嗎

The pairing arrangement on the blackboard, are you willing to separate it? 

 誰與誰坐他又愛著她

No matter who sits with whom, he will still love her

 那些年錯過的大雨

All the heavy rain that we missed those years 

 那些年錯過的愛情

 All the romance that we missed those years

好想擁抱妳 擁抱錯過的勇氣

 Really want to hold you tightly in my arms

 To hold on the courage that I never managed to express

 曾經想征服全世界

 I used to dream about conquering the world

到最後回首才發現

Only realize that in the end

 這世界滴滴點點全部都是妳

 Every little thing in my world revolves around you only

 p/s: finding the translation for this song is hard...=.="..but i love this song...

do you love it?!

<3 baby john.

Day 20 without you

﹡ 倔 强 的 以 为 我 真 的 能 改 变 你
﹡ jué jiàng de yǐ wéi wǒ zhēn de néng gǎi biàn nǐ
看 你 装 无 辜 的 眼 神 　 我 很 窒 息
kàn nǐ zhuāng wú gū de yǎn shén 　 wǒ hěn zhì xī
难 道 你 没 有 看 见 　 看 见 我 对 你 的 好
nán dào nǐ méi yǒu kàn jiàn 　 kàn jiàn wǒ duì nǐ de hǎo
还 是 你 忘 了 　 那 些 数 不 清 的 爱 情 轨 迹
hái shì nǐ wàng le 　 nà xiē shǔ bù qīng de ài qíng guǐ jì

你 说 我 傻 　 傻 在 爱 上 只 懂 爱 自 己 的 人
nǐ shuō wǒ shǎ 　 shǎ zài ài shàng zhǐ dǒng ài zì jǐ de rén
我 说 你 傻 　 傻 在 爱 他 你 的 眼 睛 骗 不 了 人
wǒ shuō nǐ shǎ 　 shǎ zài ài tā nǐ de yǎn jing piàn bù liǎo rén
我 们 都 傻 　 傻 在 为 一 段 没 有 未 来 的 爱 情 付 出
wǒ men dōu shǎ 　 shǎ zài wéi yí duàn méi yǒu wèi lái de ài qíng fù chū
还 在 期 待 会 有 奇 蹟 出 现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn

你 说 我 傻 　 傻 在 爱 上 没 有 感 情 的 分 身
nǐ shuō wǒ shǎ 　 shǎ zài ài shàng méi yǒu gǎn qíng de fēn shēn
我 说 你 傻 　 傻 在 爱 他 就 固 执 的 奋 不 顾 身
wǒ shuō nǐ shǎ 　 shǎ zài ài tā jiù gù zhí de fèn bú gù shēn
lyricsalls.blogspot.com
我 们 都 傻 　 傻 在 宁 愿 被 牺 牲 也 不 愿 放 弃 天 真
wǒ men dōu shǎ 　 shǎ zài nìng yuàn bèi xī shēng yě bú yuàn fàng qì tiān zhēn
还 在 期 待 会 有 奇 蹟 出 现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn

谁 没 有 为 爱 做 过 傻 事 　 继 续 温 习 我 会 　 讽 刺 也 无 所 谓
shuí méi yǒu wéi ài zuò guò shǎ shì 　 jì xù wēn xí wǒ huì 　 fěng cì yě wú suǒ wèi
我 说 我 傻 　 傻 在 爱 上 没 有 感 情 的 分 身
wǒ shuō wǒ shǎ 　 shǎ zài ài shàng méi yǒu gǎn qíng de fēn shēn
你 说 你 傻 　 傻 在 爱 他 就 固 执 的 奋 不 顾 身
nǐ shuō nǐ shǎ 　 shǎ zài ài tā jiù gù zhí de fèn bú gù shēn
我 们 都 傻 　 傻 在 宁 愿 被 牺 牲 也 不 愿 放 弃 天 真
wǒ men dōu shǎ 　 shǎ zài nìng yuàn bèi xī shēng yě bú yuàn fàng qì tiān zhēn

还 在 期 待 会 有 奇 蹟 出 现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn

I am counting the tears I’ve shed for you

All which represent your heart for me

No matter how many lies you’ve told I will always choose

Choose to believe that you love me

*Stubborn me really thought I could change you

 Looking at your innocent eyes

I lost my breath

Didn’t you see , see how nice I am to you

Or have you lost track of the marks of our love

You said I was a fool A fool who fell in love with someone who only cared about himself

I said you are a fool A fool who love her, your eyes can’t lie

We are all fools Fools who are putting in everything for a love which has no future

We’re still hoping that there will be a miracle

You said I was a fool A fool who fell in love with someone who has no feeling

I said you are a fool   A fool who was willing to sacrifice anything just because of her

We are all fool Fool who are willing to be sacrificed than to give up our naïve thinkings

We are still hoping that there will be a miracle *

Who never ever sacrificed for love and do foolish things I keep revising

And accepting all the sarcasm

 I said I was a fool A fool who fell in love with someone who has no feeling

you said you were a fool A fool who was willing to sacrifice anything just because of her

We are all fool Fool who are willing to be sacrificed than to give up our naive thinkings

We are still waiting for a miracle to happen

still waiting for a miracle to happen